Being asked to make a wedding toast is one of life’s great honours. But for many people, it can also be one of life’s most stressful moments. Here are a few ways to make the experience bearable:
 
Be Prepared

The best way to overcome your fear of speaking to an audience is to do your homework (well in advance of the wedding). Take the time to think through what you want to say – and get those thoughts on paper. Avoid the temptation to write out your speech word for word – you will sound much more natural by using point-form notes to help guide you through your toast (as opposed to reading it aloud, word for word).
 
Rehearse at the Reception Venue

Studies have shown that students who study in the room where they will be taking an exam tend to get higher marks. That’s because they develop a familiarity and comfort level with the environment in advance of the test. The same applies to the toasting process. If you can find a way to practice your toast (aloud) in the actual room in which you will be making it, you will feel a lot more confident when it comes time to “go live” on The Big Day. If logistics prevent you from being able to access the venue in advance of the reception, work on your toast in front of a mirror (or in the shower or while commuting to work).
 
Put the Job in Perspective

Why are we so afraid of speaking to an audience? Typically, it’s the fear of embarrassing ourselves or being rejected – and we tend to exaggerate that fear in our own minds. So try to imagine the worst possible thing that could happen – for me, that would be starting my toast, going totally blank, breaking down in tears and having to run out the exit. But even if that happens, life will go on – I’ll still be able to play golf and do all the things I love to do. This isn’t life or death – and you needn’t treat it that way.

Avoid Alcohol

Liquid courage is not the answer. Alcohol has ruined more wedding toasts than any other factor – and I recommend that people actually avoid drinking until after their toast. One or two drinks might be OK for some people – but to go beyond that is to risk embarrassment.
 

 

About the Author Tom Haibeck
 Tom Haibeck is the author of “Wedding Toasts Made Easy” and “The Wedding MC: A Complete Guide to Success for the Master of Ceremonies.” Both are available at select bookstores and online at www.weddingtoasts.com