What do you get for a guy? Socks? Ties? Underpants?

These will have a chance to appear in every birthday, Christmas, Father’s Day and anniversary until death do they part. These might be acceptable gifts on Venus, but don’t forget – us guys are from Mars.

So what is the perfect gift for the groom-to-be? Believe me, some things do say ‘I love you’ better than monogrammed socks and hankies!

Take a life lesson from me. I was 25 years old when I bought my first pair of underpants. Why? Because the one thing I could count on come any birthday or Christmas was the innundation (or as I called it – the in-undie-ation) of under-garments. And even though 2 out of every 5 pairs didn’t fit, the sheer multitude meant that I never ran out. Ever.  

The other thing I could usually count on was socks. Usually I didn’t mind the socks, because having cartoon characters on your footwear was infinitely cooler than having the same characters on your underpants (boxers excluded, of course).

Yet within three weeks of receipt of my new socks, they inevitably ended up in my father’s sock drawer, never to be heard from again. Even when I was given socks with my name on them, he still argued ‘They were given to me!’  

For the sheer sake of family peace, steer clear of socks! As for handkerchiefs – if we were meant to use them, we wouldn’t have sleeves or tea towels.