GS: Homer, do you believe in love at first sight?
Homer: I didn’t, until I first saw Oreos with Double Stuff. I can’t believe I wasted all those years on Single Stuff. What an ass I was.

GS: Homer, is it true you never go to bed angry?
Homer: Absolutely. I only go to bed drunk.

GS: What attracted you to each other?
Marge: So many things – his warmth, his innocence, his joie de vivre…
Homer: I could see her bra through her blouse.

GS: Marge, what is Homer’s most annoying habit?
Marge: I can honestly say he doesn’t have any. But he has thousands of endearing habits: loud chewing, inappropriate scratching, his Cool Ranch body odor, his belching the national anthem at ball games and at church, his toenail trimming at the dinner table. No, I’d have to say he’s pretty much perfect.

GS: Homer, what is Marge’s most annoying habit?
Homer: Once she taped over my Ultimate Fighting Championship tape with footage of Maggie taking her first step.

GS: What’s the secret of your successful marriage?
Homer: I bought this great book, Men are from Mars, Women Are From Venus, but it was too hard, so I bought The Idiot’s Guide To Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (For Dummies).

GS: When did you know you wanted to spend your lives with each other?
Homer: When my lawyer told me how much it would cost to get a divorce.
Marge: (LAUGHS) What a kidder… (SIGHS)

GS: What is your advice for couples getting married this year?
Homer: (LAUGHS) If you’re anything like us, you’d better strap yourself in for a lifetime of bed-shakin’, earth-quakin’, baby-makin’ love.
Marge: Lower your expectations. Then lower them some more.

GS: Why do you think there is such a high divorce rate in North America today?
Homer: The problem is communication. Too much communication.
Marge: What do you mean by that?
Homer: D'uh?